Babies and Trees

So, while I had expected to be blogging about gaming all the time... I'd sort of have to be gaming all the time to blog about it. Not having any gaming really to write about, I sort of just felt like there was nothing worth saying. This was fallacy, however, as I can write about anything I want to... While I'd prefer to blog about gaming, it's not all I have to say, and certainly not the only thing worth writing about in my life. I could title this blog "Rice Recipes" and blog about mowing my lawn, and really, that's my prerogative. Of course, it may alienate readers, and there's no point turning readers away when it's unnecessary. The nice thing about this blog, though, is that it's about me... so, if you're interested in what makes ME tick, then stay awhile and read my non-game related entry today. If you insist that it must be about gaming.. then you're already disappointed in the first place at the lack of content and should probably find something else more worth your time. I don't read other blogs, so I have nothing to recommend either. Good thing you're not paying for this service...

Anyway, one of the things about me is that I could relate almost any activity I'm doing with the quip, "I'd rather be playing a board game". One of the few things that isn't true of is taking my baby daughter for our daily walks. We just go once around the block just about every day... nothing too dramatic. But, while we can hustle and bustle about our lives and get caught in the tedium and anxiety of it all, that one little block every day is full of wonder and joy for my little 5-month-old (and me, truth be told). Every walk, there's something new for her to see or experience or learn, and every walk is truly an adventure in and of itself.

I spend every day worrying about our bills, whether I'm EVER going to get a job, pushing out resume after resume, helping my older daughter with school and life, dealing with student loans, fighting the feeling of worthlessness that comes from realizing I may have started caring about life and my path through it just a little too late... Morgana, on the other hand, doesn't care about any of those things at all. She's still innocent enough to not know how unfair life really is yet (excepting those nasty shots at the pediatrician... bastards). Instead, she gets to learn how to move her body (something substantial for her), make specific sounds, deal with trust, feel true passion (in the fight against the evil nap monster!), etc. And, she gets her daily walks.

We're usually cooped up every day in the house, and while that may be fine, it doesn't offer her anything new. So, I "got" why parents take their kids for walks, and joined the cause. Instead of a stroller, I have a sling that she sits in. It's not confining at all and rather lose (and thus, I ALWAYS have an arm around her), but it's at "grown up level" and lets her move around and see what she wants to see. It's strange to feel like I'm empowering a 5-month-old to learn at her own pace in her own way, but that's pretty much what I'm doing... and yeah, I rock for doing that. Not much else to give myself kudos for these days, so I'll take that personal little pat on the back, thankyouverymuch.

Today, the walk was just inspiring enough to break me out of the writing lull/shell and share with you the experience of it all. Every day she really does grow just a little bit and it's fascinating to see what she'll come up with next.

Today, I learned that she has some really good eye/ear coordination going. A really loud motorcycle started coming our way down the street... nothing really too new. What WAS new though was that she noticed what was making the noise, stared at it as it went by and then turned around in her sling to continue following it as it went on its way behind us. She's been pretty good with being aware of one of us behind her or hidden from view recently, so it was awesome to see the natural development of that particular skill.

The other, even far more cool thing, was the tree. Every day, I've been stopping at one particular tree just before the final corner coming home. We stop at this tree, I hold her out a little and she feels the leaf. Originally it was a just a new texture to check out. Then, it was something to feel and study for her. Then it became a lesson in JUST feeling it and teaching her to be gentle and try not to rip the leaf off. Today, about 10 feet before we even got to the tree, she saw it, started leaning toward it and shoved her hand out. I thought this pretty amazing, and just to take it a step further, I continued past the leaves she usually plays with for just a moment. Sure enough, she started fussing and tried grabbing for them. So, I went back to the leaves, let her play with one and even let her rip the leaf off (after a brief asking of permission from the tree) and play with it, being careful to be sure she didn't get it anywhere near her mouth.

So, yeah, nothing any parent who gives their baby true attention hasn't experienced to be sure, but to see my own daughter... even my second one at that... learn so much and actually become aware of her surroundings and to have her own little expectations... that's pretty amazing. No matter what else slams me in the face, I have a little walk with my daughter every day that is so far removed from all that that it's just as much an adventure for me as it is for her. I'm blessed.

Now, I really should take my phone with me next time to get some pictures... jeez, Dee.